The Doghouse with that mongrel Kdog playlist for 03/22/2010

The Five Worst Places to go to on the internet for sex advice-Cracked.com

5.Dating and Seduction for Dummies
*Has a chapter entitled "How to Fake Like You Are Warm and Friendly". Basically tells you how to fake interest in women. Great advice for sociopaths!

4.Christainanswers.net
Christian Answers is a site designed to help you get the Lord and your hard-on reading from the same page. And it’s pretty much as uncomfortable as that statement makes it seem.Helpfully available in Hungarian as well as English, Christian Answers can let you know some basic sex info, as well as cluing you into what God thinks about your debauchery. For instance, what are the consequences of sexual immorality? The answer: Bringing great pleasure to Satan. Yes, apparently every time you give someone a reach around, Satan high fives a buddy.

3. DatingAdviceSecrets.com
n their efforts to help you score any woman you want, the site assures you that you need to be a badass dude with a commanding sexual presence. How do you pull that off? Follow me here:

* Long handshake
* Eye contact
* Order coffee with a sexual subtext

I only went to school for Political Science, so most days I have to strain to think, but I’m having trouble cracking that last nutshell to get to the deliciousness within.
Lest you think that one line is the only nonsensical mind turd they’ve lobbed at the Web, they offer up things like “Don’t make a girl do something she doesn’t want to do - she should feel great doing even the most ‘dirty’ things.” Which basically means she’s still going to do it, just convince her she likes it. This is also known in some circles as “You’re Not a Raper, You’re Just Enthusiastic.”

2. The Men and Women from AskMen.com
You might think their list of “8 Bizarre Sex Tips” would be full of warnings about the sorts of strange sex tips you’d read on Cracked.com until you realize they really want you to try these things. This is especially bad news for women, since tip number eight is to do her at right angles. They had to resort to math to finish out their list on sex. Math. And not even sexy math like calculus. Geometry. No one ever got laid because of geometry. And no one should get laid with it. It’s a small step from having sex at right angles to trying to figure out if a train leaves Boston traveling west at 100-mph and another train leaves Seattle traveling east at 120-mph, is a handjob in a Wal-Mart changing room a good idea?

1. Seduction-Chronicles
This method of picking up women was pioneered by a man named David DeAngelo who seriously believes that the key to meeting women is to insult them. And while it’s true that you can meet people that way, but you could also meet them by popping a squat on their foot.

See, by insulting them, perhaps by saying her pants look like a five-pound sack jammed full of 10-pounds of ass, you’re demonstrating that you’re an alpha male who is completely unintimidated by her beauty. In fact, the way she looks is so boring to you, to amuse yourself you need to insult her or risk hurtling headfirst into a coma of boredom. How could she resist?